I’m not tough, I’m just a challenge to handle!
DOMINANCE is one of seven possible goals in life, chosen by a soul before taking birth. It drives the personality to assert its own will through positions of power or influence.
Dominance can be defined as power or influence over others, so the goal of Dominance is all about seeking power or influence in life. It can be adopted by any soul for any lifetime in which they want to be in control, assert themselves, or make an impact.
As the cardinal action goal, it focuses on being a decision maker, one who chooses courses of action.
Dominance is about the use of will and its direction is outwards. Whereas those with a goal of growth seek to be changed within by their experience, those with Dominance seek to change (influence, affect) the world around them.
And whereas those with Acceptance seek harmonious relationships, with Dominance there is a need for imbalanced relationships in which one leads and others follow. Indeed, anyone with a goal of Dominance will have a natural affinity with those who have the goal of Submission — Dominance wants to lead and Submission wants to follow.
Dominance enables one to accomplish things, though it is neutral in terms of whatone seeks to accomplish. The nature of what one sets out to achieve in the world is purely a matter of choice, which in turn will be a reflection of one’s personal maturity and level of evolution. An older soul can be just as dominant as a younger soul, but the focus of will — what it is they want to achieve in life — will probably be quite different. A dominant young soul, for instance, could run a law firm, while a dominant old soul could run a Zen monastery. The goal of Dominance would be ideal in both cases.
“I’m calling the shots here.”
Typical traits: determined, assertive, strong-willed, forward, domineering, pushy
Individuals with the goal of Dominance put themselves in charge of anything from the family home to school classroom to a global empire — whatever the scale or context, Dominance is all about the degree of influence within that context.
It fascinates us, not just because of the danger, but also because dominant persons are magnetic, in the way that lions attract satellite carrion-eaters.
The goal of Dominance is the most extraverted of all the goals (that is, the most outwardly focused). Not all extraverts have the goal of Dominance, however. Extraversion is really an umbrella term for several different outwardly focused personality traits, including gregariousness and talkativeness. Those with Dominance are not necessarily gregarious or talkative (unless they happen to be Sage souls, of course!). Rather, they tend to be determined and assertive.
Having the goal of Dominance can add this extraverted dimension to an otherwise introverted soul character. A naturally introverted Scholar, for example, will appear somewhat extraverted (i.e. determined and assertive) if he or she has the goal of Dominance in life — some examples of a Dominant personalities, include Margaret Thatcher, Alan Greenspan, and Al Gore.
(Incidentally, having Dominance as a goal may sound very similar to being a King, but there is a key difference. Having a goal of Dominance means seeking power, but King souls do not necessarily seek power — they inherit, and often naturally exudepower as a default behavior. A King soul may or may not seek to use that power in any given lifetime.)
Dominance: positive and negative:
The positive pole of Dominance is leadership. This means leading from the front, striving to make good decisions, taking responsibility for the outcomes, and having respect for those who choose to follow.
The negative pole of Dominance is dictatorship: “Just do it because I say so.” Or “Just do it because I have power over you” This means forcing outcomes by giving others no choice, blaming others when the results are not as expected, treating subordinates with contempt.
A personality in the negative pole of Dominance can come across as pushy and overbearing, someone interested only in end results regardless of the means of getting there. Getting things done is what matters, and if a few people feel bruised along the way… well, that’s their problem.
In business it can become a problem to serve someone who is very dominant in the way described above. If the dominance is coherent in style and communication, we can adjust to it (see more about that below)
If, on the other hand, the dominance is exhibited because the person-acting dominant is associating it with the expectations of a position of power, it can appear fake. This happens when someone who is not truly dominant by nature or upbringing is showing dominating behaviors while saying things in a way that does not appear dominant.
Being coherent in communication and behavioral style is very important, especially when the goal is Dominance. Anybody “faking it” will be quickly found out and instead of finding followers the Dominator is finding and creating enemies who will take every opportunity to expose the “fakeness”. While we have choices what to accept in business, we not always have a choice in private life.
For this reason, living with someone with a goal of Dominance can be particularly difficult for those with a goal of Acceptance, for whom the quality of relationships is all-important.
If you find yourself caught in the negative pole of Dominance — being overbearing or bullying — the antidote lies in temporarily pursuing the positive pole of the opposite goal. In this case, you should pursue the positive pole of Submission, which is a state of devotion — being committed to serving some purpose, something greater than oneself.
To do this, you pay attention to what purpose you are truly wanting to serve by being the one in charge, as this is what you have lost touch with. Your ability to wield power and influence has become blind to the situation, detached from any sense of purpose, so this is what you must focus on. Identify what achievement it is you are devoted to, and be willing to serve that purpose by respectfully listening to others who are able to help you.
Do you know your personality style?